Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day approaches... I think back to my post last year, which described my perfect day - full of alone time, spa treatments, as well as brief visits with the boys.  That still sounds nice, but feels less necessary than it did last year.  Last year, I felt like I was drowning in my devotion to the boys and grasping for "me time" like it was air.  I had spent the previous nine months juggling 8 feedings a day times two babies, pumping for whatever milk I could provide them, cleaning bottles and pump parts, and laundering spit-up covered clothes and diaper leaked on bedding.

Prior to the boys' birth, all I had really known was "me time" (okay, there wasn't that much of it when I was working, but it existed).  Motherhood made "me time" a rare luxurious treat.  And, last year, I was craving it sooooo badly.  I was in serious withdrawal.  But, I suppose, "me time" is like sugar, once you stop eating it, you eventually stop craving it (this is what I hear - I haven't given up sugar, if anything, I am more dependent on it than ever).  And I have gotten used to not having much, if any, "me time" and I am okay it.  [I  do know some "me time" is necessary and I definitely enjoy it when it happens.] 

I can't say it has been easy.  As much as I absolutely knew that motherhood would make my life a life of service to my children, it has been harder to live that life than to imagine it in my head.  But I have gotten more used to it, used to waking up to tend to the boys instead of tending to myself, used to laying down with the boys in the evening instead of watching an anticipated new episode of a favorite program, and used to not being able to shower or wash my hair every day like I used to.

All that being said, I love my boys more than my life and would and will do anything for them.  I would not trade them in for a life full of "me time" and whatever other time I think I want.  They truly are my dream come true.  And, so, this Mother's Day, I don't need an escape from the boys.  I want to thank them and thank G-- for making me their "ma-ma".  I am utterly appreciative and grateful to have these two amazing little boys.

They make this a very happy Mother's Day...

And happy Mother's Day to my mom and the other moms in my life that show me every day that being a mom doesn't end even after your babies are all entirely grown up and with babies of their own.