Rotten Mother

Wow! If my being confused for a panhandler, the boys deleting medical records while on the doctor's computer in Frankfurt, and Will throwing his shoe into the Flamingo Pond at the zoo were not enough examples of my poor mothering, I recently ran over my own son.

Run over?  Yes, I ran over Will with the stroller.  We were waiting for my sister-in-law at the park and I was "strolling" around in the general vicinity in which we were to meet.  I noticed a man, and then a girl in her early 20s, noticing the boys.  This is not unusual.  They tend to attract attention.  But then the girl starting screaming and pointing at the stroller, just as I noticed that the stroller seemed to be rolling over something.  I figured it was a shoe (the boys throw off their shoes on a regular basis).  No big deal people, this happens all the time.  Then I heard the girl, "You're running over your baby!!!!!"  She was hysterical...  Sure enough, I was running over Will.  And he was upset, but he quickly calmed down (the stroller isn't that heavy).   As I was consoling Will, the girl looked back, shook her head, and gave me the most judgmental look as if to say, "what kind of mother runs over her baby?"

I felt pretty crappy.  Gee, this is what happens when I am not even distracted.  I wasn't on the phone, wasn't texting, wasn't even talking to someone walking with me.  I was only pushing the stroller, casually keeping a look out for my sister-in-law.

But I had the canopies over the boys, to protect them from the sun, and I couldn't see them.  And the boys refuse to stay in their stroller and it has increasingly been getting worse.  I don't know.  Maybe I really am just a rotten mother.  I hope not.  Either way, I wonder if my staying at home with the boys is doing any good - seriously, could a daycare be worse?  I mean, I run over my own baby!